Dear Mom,
Happy Mother's Day. If you had asked me two weeks ago, this is not how I planned on spending this day. When you went into the hospital, I decided that we should really do something special for Mother's Day. I knew you'd be out of the hospital by then and we'd be able to celebrate you however we wanted. But obviously, that didn't work out quite like I expected it to, and today was actually one of the hardest days yet.
I miss you so much, and I can't help but think of how I wanted to spend time with you today, and how I should have wanted to spend more time with you when you were here. I'm so sorry for that. I'm so sorry that there were so many days that I would stay in my downstairs apartment, and not even come up to say, "Hi" to you. I'm so sorry that I was so bitter that I was still living at home with you. I'm so sorry that there were so many days that I was just a downright jerk to you. I would do anything to take those things back.
However, I am so thankful for how God was working in me and changing my heart in the week and a half before your death. I'm so thankful for all the time I did get to spend with you while I stayed with you in the hospital. I'm so thankful for the talks that we had and the friendship that we developed in those last days. I'm so thankful that I saw you mouth the words, "I love you" to me as you were being taken away to surgery. I'm so thankful that during my last visit with you, you were able to just be my mom and to comfort me, and that I didn't have to be your caretaker. I'm so thankful that the last words you spoke to me were, "I'm so proud of you."
You were a gift to us, even though we didn't always realize it. You were strong, hardworking, gracious, and loving. I would do anything to be able to look into your eyes and tell you that. I love you, and I miss you more than you could have imagined, and I hope to see you soon.
Love,
Stephanie
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