I'm on a bus to Nashville right now and will be flying to Anchorage, Alaska later this afternoon. I should be excited. Or at least nervous. Or something. But I'm not. The only feeling I can muster up right now is the aching in my heart; the gut wrenching knowledge that my mom should have been there to send me off this morning.
She was so excited for me to go on this trip. And I was too, at first. She had always wanted to go to Alaska, and she shared in the joy of three of her kids who had the opportunity to go. And I was excited to come home and how her pictures and tell her how much she would have loved it.
Now it all feels pointless. I feel as though I don't have the energy that this trip will require - physically, mentally, or emotionally. I feel as though I have nothing to offer to the teens going on this trip, or to those to whom we will be ministering in Alaska. I feel empty. I feel tired.
But here I am, making this journey anyway, trusting that it will be profitable. Trusting that God will supply what I need while I'm there. Trusting that He knew what would be going on in my life at this time when I signed up for this trip months ago. That He has a plan to use me, as well as teach me on this trip.
So pray for me. Pray for our team. Pray for Alaska. I know our mission is not in vain.
No comments:
Post a Comment