My Thoughts on Politics

I normally try to avoid talking about politics at all costs. Not because I don't know what I believe or that I don't know how to defend what I believe, but mainly because I want to avoid the arguments that ensue from stating those beliefs.
With all the talk about gun control, the recent anniversary of Roe v. Wade, and the terrible awful that happened to Louie Giglio, I've found myself more tempted to tread the dangerous waters of commenting on friends' political statuses/retweeting political tweets, but I can't even bring myself to go there. I don't want to be one of "those" people.
The thing is, I'm not that passionate about politics. Please don't read that as "I hate America." I don't. America's great and I know there are freedoms I have that I don't even realize other countries don't have. But politics frustrate me. Let me rephrase that: people who constantly talk about politics, whether it's about what is going right or what is going wrong, frustrate me.
I get it; people are proud to be Americans. And there's nothing wrong with that. Unless it causes an individual to be an American first and foremost, and a Christian second.
I feel like I see so much of this: "Gun control is going to ruin this country." "If you take away our right to bear arms, you might as well take away our right to free speech." "We might have a doctor to cure cancer, or a president to lead our country rightly, but we probably aborted them." "Our country is so fallen that we can't even allow a man who doesn't believe in gay marriage to pray at the inauguration."
I don't mean to take any of these issues lightly, but my question is this: Where is Christ in any of that?
If you recall, the Bible says nothing about Americans, nor the rights they possess. In fact, it appears to me, that the Bible does not refer to any earthly rights of Christians. Quite the opposite, actually.

• "You’re blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God’s kingdom.” Matthew 5:10 (MSG)
• “It is through many persecutions that we must enter the kingdom of God.” Acts 14:22.
• “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. If they persecuted me, they will persecute you.” John 15:18-20 NIV
• “In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted.” 2 Timothy 3:12 NIV

Any freedom we have in this country is a privilege. A blessing that we do not deserve. And if we are more passionate about these blessings than we are about spreading the gospel, there is something incredibly wrong in our hearts. And I daresay, if/when, at some point, we lose these blessings, it is not the persecution Scripture speaks of; it's simply that we're not getting something that we want and think we deserve.

We are called to do one thing as Christians, and it is not to fight for our American rights. We are called to spread the gospel. And here's the kicker: if we spread the gospel as we are called to do, things are more likely to change in our country. Everything that goes wrong in America is simply a symptom of one underlying illness: the depravity of lost hearts. No matter how many petitions we sign, how many hours we hold signs outside of abortion clinics, or how many Facebook statuses we post about the travesty that happened to Louie Giglio, nothing will change in this country until we seek to change the hearts of the individuals around us. We have got to stop seeing the downfall of our country as something that's happening to us, and start seeing it as a reason to go out and tell the world of the great salvation they're missing out on!
Until people are redeemed, they will never act as if they've been redeemed, and we've got to stop expecting them to. We should not be surprised, nor offended, that Louie Giglio was uninvited to pray at President Obama's inauguration; instead, we should rejoice that he was counted worthy to be rejected as Christ was. This is what we are told would happen if we are Christlike. And if it's not happening to us as individuals, we must ask ourselves what we are doing wrong.
I'm not saying things will get better. I'm not saying our country will turn from wicked ways toward godliness. What I am saying is that it definitely won't if we don't answer our call to preach the gospel.
When hearts change, everything will change. 

Your Grace is Enough

I'm not known for my positive outlook on life. Unfortunately, I tend to dwell on the negatives of almost every situation. This morning I found myself doing just that, yet again. 

I felt such a weight of discouragement at the knowledge that every single day I continue on in my sin. Some of which may not seem so bad at times, others haunt me, but whatever it I'm dealing with, I deal with over and over again. Every day is a constant struggle of wanting to do right, and finding myself going astray. 

I've been reading Romans with a good friend of mine lately, specifically chapters 5-8, and I have found that I am not alone in this struggle. I know that I have died to sin and have been made a slave of righteousness (6), and that my flesh will still fail at times until I am fully sanctified (7), and that no matter what I do, I am in Christ, and will not suffer condemnation for my struggles (8). These are truths that should have brought comfort, but somehow I still felt disheartened and longing for the day that I will be fully sanctified - made complete in the image of Christ. That is a good longing, and not one that should bring about sadness, I know, but sometimes I just hate the thought that I'm not there yet. I have so much further to go. 

Thankfully, God stopped me right there. I woke up this morning with the song, "O For a Thousand Tongues" stuck in my head. Specifically, this stanza:

He breaks the power of cancelled sin,

He sets the prisoner free;

His blood can make the foulest clean,

His blood availed for me.

I suddenly became overwhelmed with the awareness that my sin has been cancelled. That Christ's righteousness has been imputed to me, and that doesn't fail when I do. When God looks at me, he doesn't see my mistakes; He sees the One that paid for them.

And the truth is, I am being sanctified. Romans 6:22 says, "But now that you have been set free from sin, and become slaves of God, the fruit you get leads to sanctification and its end, eternal life." This doesn't mean we are free from the presence of sin, but we are free from its power. We are still susceptible to sin, though not a slave to it. And as we continue toward sanctification, even our susceptibility to sin weakens! Because we are being made like Christ! 

I am not there yet, but I will be. That is not a cause for distress in my present state, but rather a motivation to move forward. To actively long for the day that I will be done with this struggle. To praise God for the future He has. 

O for a thousand tongues to sing

My great Redeemer's praise,

The glories of my God and King,

The triumphs of His grace!

My Thoughts on Exercise

I don't know much about exercise, except that I hate it and try to do it as infrequently as I can get away with. However, with the recent passing of the holiday season and, what appears to be, the rapid halt of my metabolism, I have been forced to re-visit my dear old enemy: the treadmill. Which brought about a whole series of thoughts/observations, that I will now share...

"It's actually a good thing I ate all that pasta for dinner. You're supposed to 'carb up' before a run, right?"

"All I really need is a personal trainer. Who will come to my house every morning to drag my butt out of bed and make me skinny. For free. Is that too much to ask?"

"If I throw up while I'm on the treadmill, I'm totally adding it to my calories burned."

"Maybe one day, if I keep this up, my thighs won't slap together like that."

"If I get off to pee, I probably won't get back on. I'll just drink less water."

"I think I might just be too fat to exercise."

"There's nothing like listening to good worship music to keep my pace up! Except maybe listening to good worship music from my bed... Yeah, I can probably worship better from bed, actually. I can focus better from there."


"Next time I do this, I'm going to watch episodes of The Walking Dead and pretend I'm training for the zombie apocalypse. That should be good motivation."

"I think I can send this text and not fall off the treadmill and die."

"I really can't feel my legs."

On a more serious note, tonight was actually one of the best runs I've had in the last two weeks that I've been back at it (Yes, this is me on a good night). I ran for longer and at a faster pace. I guess the point is that it isn't easy. It isn't even fun. But while I almost always regret the times I decide to skip my workout, I never regret the times I go through with it. The times I push myself when I really don't think I can go any farther. When I stop to walk and, instead of turning the treadmill off, I jog for ten more minutes. It's not much, but it's progress. And that's the point.

Words

One of my favorite things to do is write. Words are so powerful and important. They are a gift, and I love almost nothing more.
Sometimes I think words are too important. By this I mean that they should not be wasted. I don't like quotes used as decorations or people who feel the need to constantly fill the silence with meaningless blabber (though I am too often guilty of this). I just think that words are too valuable to simply be spilled out for no reason. I'm a firm believer in speaking only if you have something worthwhile to say.
I also believe that sometimes words cannot do enough to portray what is in the heart, and in that instance, they should not be spoken.
I began this post with a desire to write about heartache that struck my family today, but it almost feels as if putting words to what happened would be a disservice to all the hearts involved. Sometimes it's better to hold on to what's in your heart - to process what you feel - before you speak and make it known.
So out of respect for my family, for our hearts, and for words, I will let there be silence.

I Think it will be Soon

Today was a big day. It didn't start out like a big day, but trust me, it turned into a big day. 

It all started when I decided to drop some items off at the thrift store. And for some reason I always drive to the one in Ooltewah, like twenty minutes away from my house... when I have a drop off location literally at the end of my street. I don't know why I do that. 

Anyway, I was driving around Ooltewah, and out of nowhere I decided to stop by the cemetery to visit my dad's grave.

Now, the part you all need to know is that I haven't visited my dad's grave in ten and a half years. The last time I was there was my 13th birthday. We had family in from out of town and they all wanted to stop by the cemetery before they left. Looking back, I get it. But at the time, I was pretty upset about it. And I made a decision to never go back on anyone else's terms. 

I rarely talk about my dad. Let alone write about him and post it on the internet. But like I said, this is a big day.

There have been several occasions over the last ten and a half years that have prompted me to visit the grave site. I thought about going when I graduated high school or before I left for college. I thought about going when I got engaged. I thought about going when I got unengaged. But I never felt like I was ready, or something. And the longer I went without going, the harder it became to go. 

And I don't even know why today was different. I was driving around and I just kind of wondered if I remembered where it was. I hadn't been there in so long, and I had never driven there before, so I didn't even really expect to find it. But I did. Somehow I remembered exactly where it was. And there was no turning back.

When I first got there, I just sat on the ground for a few minutes. I didn't know what to do; I just felt kind of weird about it. 

So I tried talking. If there's one thing I've wanted for the last 14 (almost) years, it's to talk to my dad. Especially as I've gotten older, I've just wanted to hear his opinions, to know what his direction would be in my life. To hear his advice. 

The fact is, I would be a completely different person if my dad had lived. I don't understand fully what that means, and I try not to think about it too often, because I've found that it doesn't do any good. But still, I have come to terms with its truth, and it's a hard fact to deal with. 

So, for about 45 minutes, I tried to muster about 14 years worth of words. To tell him I'm sorry for some of the choices I've made in the past. To tell him what I hope for the future. It was overwhelming, to say the least. 

I'm not exactly sure how all of this works. I don't know what, if anything, God allows those in Heaven to know about those they leave behind. I have a feeling that my dad is aware of at least some aspects of the life of his family, but that's just a feeling; I have no idea if it's true. But I have to admit, there was a certain element of healing associated with telling my dad what I wanted him to know. 

When I had said all I needed to say, I still didn't want to leave. But unfortunately, I didn't have the time to just sit at the cemetery all day. So I got up and said the only thing I could think of to say: "Soon, Dad. I think it will be soon."

I have this feeling, (again, just a feeling), that Christ will be calling His Church home soon. That all believers, and that my family, will be reunited soon. I don't know that that's true; but I really hope it is.

I don't know when I'll be going back to my dad's grave site. I don't have any plans regarding that. But I'm glad I went. And I'm glad that one day, whether soon or not, we will be reunited. 

Confessions (What I Learned in 2012)

I have a hard time blogging these days. I have made several attempts over the last few months to bet back into the groove, but have yet to muster up the courage to push "publish."
I made a lot of bold statements in the blogs of last year; I had big plans and goals, and I think I'm embarrassed that so few of them have come to fruition. I planned to move out - still live at home. I planned to run a half marathon - haven't run since. It is awkward and I just haven't quite figured out where I want my blog to go from there.
I still have been making plans and goals, but I feel apprehensive about letting the world know that, just in case I fail to accomplish them... again. However, through this time, I have learned some valuable truths that will now serve as filling for what I hope to become my "segue blog" (no promises).

1. It doesn't do any good to continuously replay my regrets in my mind. Big or small, what's done is done and I can't change that fact.
2. In fact, living with regrets at the forefront of my mind will lead to the repetition of regretful actions.
3. I almost always regret the time spent regretting my regret more than I regret the actual regret.
4. It is impossible to move forward while living in the past.
5. None of this means that I shouldn't recognize the wrong in what I've done (or what I've failed to do)... This is the only way to learn from my mistakes.
6. God has me where I am right now for a reason.
7. That doesn't mean I shouldn't be working toward where He may have me in the future.
8. It's okay to make plans.
9. It is also okay if not everything goes as planned.
10. I don't have all the answers.
11. That's no excuse to not live according to what I know is truth.
12. Loving God is an action, not an emotion.
13. It is always the right time to be adventurous.

To be (hopefully) continued...